eggers

It was easy to become a better human. First, I spoke in a monotone. I could not be excited and could not be upset. I was a visitor from elsewhere, Russia maybe, and found everything amusing, interesting, but only slightly and even then, solely from and anthropological standpoint. I was not sullen; I was predictable. I walked at a normal human pace. I rode my bicycle at an optimum speed, a practical speed, without standing up on the pedals, because to do so would imply urgency. At school events I would clap when others would clap but I would not cheer or yell. My phone calls were brief and to the point. I set the receiver down gently; I walked the stairs not quickly, not slowly; I brushed my teeth for fifteen minutes because that was what my dentist, who i admit now was not sane, suggested; I kept my head level because tilting seemed to imply too much interest; I did not pass gas or pick my nose; I washed myself thoroughly in the morning and at night. I thought of the least emotional walk I could engineer, and decided that it required minimal arm movement and long even strides.

you shall know our velocity

adventures in kauai

so yesterday i was on the big island of hawaii, exploring. my mom took noelle, leanne, and me to the volcano. since we were flying out last night to kauai, we didn't really have that much time to explore. after going to the only winery there, testing their variety, we played at a black sand beach ate some crap food, then made our way to the volcano. with time running out, we run to the edge of the cauldron to see this...

then we found the lava tube. unfortunately three japanese tour buses found it as well. attempting to quickly view this tube, we have to pass the japanese tourists. noelle leads the way constantly saying, "on your left", as we leave those touring maniacs in our dust. i'm sure they thought we were crazy, i even heard one girl laugh at us. but hey, we passed them all and walked through the lava tube in record time.




then, today, in kauai, we had the craziest day. we went to this place in wailua state park area that houses irrigation tunnels. they are old tunnels that still have rushing water in them and lead to really cool waterfalls basically in the middle of the mountains. unfortunately we get there after driving on crazy dirt roads that they filmed in jurassic park and we find the water levels are like a foot too shallow. of course we went anyway and we had body boards and we laid on them and held one another's feet. we kept hitting the bottom and it was pitch black in the tunnels for like two minutes. spiders hanging over our heads, tree branches blocking the tunnel, boulders under the body boards. it was crazy. we also kept hitting the sides and scraping our hands. it went forever and finally we get to the end of the first tunnel and we try to climb out and look for the path back to the waterfall we parked at.




well, there was no path where we came out so we had to go through the second tunnel. we really didn't want to go through because we were getting cut up and it was so cold in that water. after searching for any other option than entering the next tunnel, we realise there is no such option, and we head into the dark tunnel. in the middle of this tunnel we see an opening and look for the path. we used our body boards to trail-blaze, but alas, none was found. we are crazy. finally we go through the rest of that tunnel and find the path finally. as we are walking back on the path, we realise that this is where they are hunting boars and we see boar tracks and dog tracks and we have to be quiet so people don't think we are boars. on the path we see a stomach and intestines lying on the ground covered in flies. we were stepping in thick mud, hoping we wouldn't get shot by a boar hunter.





finally, we find our way back, rinse off the mud, hike to the car, travel back down the crazy trail/road, heading towards lihue to go to this place that has saimin, which i don't like at all. it is like top ramen but more ethnic. they have really good teriyaki chicken, though. i basically put all the soy sauce and hot mustard and chili sauce in the broth of the saimin noodles and it wasn't too bad.




then we go to this place kipu falls, jump of the waterfall, watch the tourists, leave, go to kealia beach, swim. get a rice dream ice cream sandwich at the health food store in hanalei. and finally return home after being lost, freezing, hungry, and feeling quite adventurous (probably not unlike survivorman).




good times.
can't wait to see what tomorrow holds.